1. Interact

The biggest mistake that adults make when they meet someone like Louie is failing to interact with him. Usually they try asking him a question (he hates questions, he won’t answer), then the adult gives up and starts talking to me. One time a person shouted questions at him from across a field and couldn’t understand why Louie ran away!

2. Observe

Some children with special needs perceive sensory input in different ways and may be unable to verbalize discomfort. Remember that all behavior is communication. Always keep a lookout for these differences and think about what the child’s behavior is communicating to you.

3. Use Common Sense

My son had a negative experience in an adapted swimming class many years ago. The children in the class ranged in age from 3 to 18, and the two instructors had the children sit on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water while they took turns working individually with each child.

4. Be Flexible

Some adults say that they will not change the way they do things to accommodate one person in a group. But the whole point of teaching is to use a variety of methods to help another person understand and master new skills.

5. Be Consistent

If a set of rules is presented to the group, apply those rules consistently to everyone. Years ago I signed up my son for a preschool martial arts class. On the first day, the instructor explained to students and parents that if a child was having any type of behavior issue, he would ask the parent to sit with the child.

6. Use visual, auditory or tactile cues

Having the right cues in an environment can mean the difference between participation and non-participation for many children with special needs. I bring a camera everywhere and get photos of my son’s regular routines and favorite places. Louie sorts through the photos in an album or on the computer; sometimes we make the photos into a storybook about an activity.

7. Have a plan.

And a back-up plan. You know what they say about the best-laid plans. In the world of special needs, there is always a Plan B, and usually a Plan C. Make sure that there is space to calm down and move freely if things go badly. Think about what each participant can do instead of focusing on what they can’t contribute.

8. Be Positive

A positive attitude is the single most important quality for anyone who works with children with special needs. I’ve seen highly trained specialists unable to interact with Louie because of their negative attitude and assumptions. But some people with no experience or knowledge of his disability have jumped right in and changed his life for the better.